school days

Hello, sweet friends!  How are you? 

It's a lovely quiet morning here, sunny and bright.  Music playing, girls hard at work, mostly:

Some of you may remember this post and this post about Olivia, and her struggles in sixth grade.  What came after, you might ask?  It got worse.  It got much worse, to the point that we were worried about her, and her sweet self-image.  She was teased for behaving and learning, basically.  Every day.  All day.  She loves school, loves to learn, and worked hard.  Nobody else seemed to.  We talked to the teacher, we talked to Olivia.  She wanted to do the monkey bars at recess, everyone else wanted to gossip.  She's eleven, they are eleven-going-on-18.

So, this is her new school.  Right here in the safety and warmth of our family.  She loves it. I love it.  It totally rocks.

We found a charter school through the San Diego school system that really meets our needs wonderfully--full curriculum is provided, geared to our daughter's skills and needs, free of charge.  Support is there, activities and field trips with her age group are abundant.  I'm so grateful for this, I can't tell you.

We did not, by any means, make this decision quickly or without real soul-searching.  But it really feels right.  Sofie is still attending public school, as it still seems to meet her needs quite well.  But it is so wonderful to know that we have an option, if it for some reason, it no longer meets her needs.  Being a substitute teacher in my daughter's school, even in their classrooms, I felt I had a realistic view of what the kids do all day long, and how time is spent.  And for Olivia, it was much, much time wasted, for very little gain that we could not easily provide at home.  And the social bit?  Well, frankly, it was damaging, not enriching.

 We can read together, study together, learn together, and be together.  Sofie is with us for this week, as her school is not resuming until next Wednesday (it's year-round, Olivia's is not).  So, she does her "assignments"...

Sometimes, we do get distracted...

 ...but that's okay.  We have time.

As you can see, we have turned the family art room in to something of a schoolroom.  It will evolve, and still easily support any creative activities we wish to pursue, from puzzles, to painting, to dollhouse-making.  

Anyway, life is so good.  I have to go now, though.  We have to make cupcakes with chocolate and vanilla layers in them, so that we can take a "core sample" with a straw.  My kind of science.

Any thoughts, my friends?  I'd love to hear them...Have a good one, okay?

xoxox.

p.s.  Sorry about the poor-quality pics, and the messy floor of the art room.   This room has very little natural light (bummer) and we've been doing lots of re-organizing.  Cleaning comes this weekend!  And, I know you don't care, anyway...:o)
 

Comments

[Make More, Buy Less]

Amy,

I am so inspired by everything in this post -- your courage, your daughter's resilience your reinvented art room. You are a strong and wonderful mom...thanks for sharing.

[joanna]

congratulations on making this brave decision. my partner and i have often discussed offering our son the option of homeschooling some day and letting HIM choose when he wants to do it, and we feel pretty confident that he will choose middle school, which is when we both would have chosen to take our parents up on it if they'd offered it. you're absolutely right that the social aspect of middle school is NOT enriching. i spent most of college and my early 20s rebuilding my self-esteem after middle school and early high school broke it down bit by bit. good luck!

[Beth Lehman]

Good for you - what an amazing thing you were able to work out for her. Sounds like your Olivia and my Maria would enjoy each other. I love hearing about how parents make the best decisions for their children.

[Ivy]

I read your blog everyday and just wanted to comment that as a "newish" (19 month old son)mother, I really respect how you handled this situation. I would hope that I would be able to come to the same conclusion with my own son, in realizing the situation and doing what is right for him, instead of caring what others may think. You really took action and I love that quality in a parent.....plus, now you get to spend some great bonding time with her, that you wouldn't normally get to do. I know I hate spending a second away from my son.

[Unni Strand]

Thank you for sharing this!
I'm a teacher in a college and I truly believe in the importance of the socialisation between all children at the same age in an area.
But if my daughter had the same problems as yours, well, if I had the chance, I guss I would have done the same...
Good luck and have fun!

[Happy Find]

I admire your decision and I know you will take her farther than what the school can provide. I know EXACTLY what you and Olivia are going through. It's sad, but true... kids are growing up way too fast and it seems that being mean is the cool thing to do. You did the right thing. You are an amazing woman and I have no doubts that Olivia will soar to greater heights and be just as amazing as you.

[Penny]

I can so relate - sixth grade was one of the worst for my older daughter - girls can be so mean and we had many really rough moments - she also loved to learn and acted age appropriate(thank goodness) - she did manage to make it through and continue in public school - she is now 26 and a very well adjusted woman with a beautiful soul - what happens in the home makes all the difference in our childrens lives and when their is lots of love it all works out - looks like you have a perfect environment for learning and am sure Olivia will thrive - Olivia happens to be the name my daughter wants to name her first daughter
Happy days to you all xo

[Wendi Gratz]

Sounds lovely! We just started homeschooling our daughter (age 7) this year and we all love it. My husband is a writer and I work part-time at Penland School of Crafts and part-time trying to be a full-time crafter. :-) My favorite moments are when we're each working on our own projects - independent but together - if you know what I mean. I look forward to reading more about what you all are doing. Inspiration is good. :-)

[nath]

wow. right on Amy, i really admire the choices you've made here. i'm sure Olivia will thrive and flourish under these perfect conditions. what i'm learning fast, is that school in the traditional sense of the word, doesn't fit every single child. so i think it's wonderful that you have made this move. really. bravo.

[nath]

and p.s who wouldn't want to hang out in this bright joy-filled room?

[sunny]

woo hoo, Olivia! You have the prettiest, most organized school room EVER! Are you enjoying it?

How great that all of it fell into place, Amy, and that you're BOTH enjoying it.

Science was NEVER that fun for me when I was in school!!!

[Miranda]

Congrats on starting this adventure! You have the coolest, cutest school room EVER!! Whatever about poor pictures, I love them. And I want to come teach my kids at your house!!
LOVE IT!!!

[stephanie]

I am so excited for you and your beautiful girl - I am sure she will thrive! We have been struggling with the public/homeschooling choice for a while (for exactly the same reasons that you are h/s Olivia) and are starting kindergarten homeschool this year. I am hoping it goes smoothly. Eek!

[Louise de Pour toujours]

This is a great gift for your daughter and your family. Must have been a hard decision to make. Sometimes I feel, being a parent is a gamble. You try to consider everything but in the end you never can be really sure. Wouldn't be wonderful if we could do a fast forward in our life to see how it turns out?

But I am a bit worry by this news. Will you still have time for your blog?

[jessica]

Oh! We homeschool as well, but my girls are five and two and we can choose between several homeschooling groups to join if we feel like being part of a group (or making friends that have days - or ideals - similar to ours). You know how worried complete strangers become when you announce you are homeschooling. They become so Darn worried about the Socialisation aspect (???!@#$@$!@!). But ~wink, wink ~ you will be fine baby. You are creative. That's all it takes. Oh, and a mumma's or daddy's love. She has both, obviously, so she's already ahead. My oldest was reading by four so we refused to "throw her to the wolves" and have her studying one letter at a time in a kindergarten setting. She is fine, we are fine. It is good. Someone once told me, "Make your decisions, and then make it right." I never realized it pertains to JUST EVERYTHING until I got older. Hope it helps you too. Be brave, you are rocking it.
xo Jessica

[Kawaiikiki]

Hi . . . I've been reading your lovely blog for sometime, but this will be my first time posting.

I teach 6th grade, and know exactly what you mean about kids growing up too quickly. I have kids on both ends of the spectrum and it is very difficult. Last year I was lucky to have a group of kids who spent every recess play tag on the playground, I loved to watch them. This year I have girls more interested in boys and boys who know too much about the world. It's great that you are able to stay home and homeschool, if I had kids of my own I'd love to do the very same thing. Best wishes for all the real and wonderful learning you will do together!

[Jayne Barbour]

Amy, you are great! I want to just squeeze sweet Olivia and protect her from those mean little witches. Having three young daughters, it is one of the things I fret about-it starts so early. Good luck and enjoy your new adventure:) Excited for you and your family. Sounds like 2010 is a year of change for so so many. But it is true that it is all for the better. Sometimes we just don't know it until later.
Loving your blog, just loving it!
Jayne

[deb]

Good for you - all! Sounds like you've made the right choice, for now at least. And what a wonderful space you've created for your girls.

[Madtimeswelivein.blogspot.com]

So happy to hear that you made the best decision, and decided to home school! Who wouldn't be buzzing with crazy energy at the prospect of learning in your gorgeous craft/living room. I wish you lived closer, my craft area need's a major over haul....

[hillary a.]

Sounds like an excellent move. I am a big fan of opting out of systems that are failing you. Actually a good friend of mine chose to homeschool for 6th-8th grade because of social weirdness that was being perpetrated upon her. I can't think of a good reason to endure that kind of treatment. Hope you can connect with some other likeminded homeschoolers in your area!

[Vanessa De Lacy]

Wow, this sounds so perfect, can my daughters come to your classes?? My eldest is starting prep this year and I have such a fear of her losing her sweetness and wonderment at the world. I think installing a sense of self worth and high self esteem is so important and it seems to me that is what you have successfully achieved with your daughters.
Best wishes to you all this year,
Vanessa

[Kristy]

Is that your craft room? It's huge and lovely!

[Kira]

Your post moved me to tears to the point where I had to read all of the posts about Olivia. I can't even begin to express the trace of disgust I have for that age group, though, because I was there, too feeling the pain of torments and ridicule. But as an adult, I know now that kids that age are going through self esteem, self-perception and body-related issues, so they bring all their woes down on those who don't fight back. Also (living in San Diego as well), I'm all too aware of the "socialization" aspect in southern California - I think you're right in your choice. Olivia sounds like a beautiful person; naturally you'd want to keep her that way. And although I know neither you nor your daughter, I feel a sense of pride in both of your accomplishments and resilience, and I'm so very happy for your family. Many waves of luck to you and yours, sweetheart! ♥♥

[annamaria potamiti]

I think you have made a brave choise and I am sure your lovely daughter will have the best enviroment to grow and learn in. When my first two daughters were that age they were both bullied at school and it was really horrible for them, but in the country we lived in we were not allowed to homeschool. I think this is a lovely and precious gift you are giving your daughter. Good luck with it all.
Annamaria :)

[suzie chaney]

this is wonderful, great decision! My youngest hates school, she does not fit in with the other girls at all and gets teased by the boys cos she wants to work hard. We are pinning all our hopes on moving house soon so she can make a fresh start, but I wish this could be an option for us.
What a lucky girl she is to have such a caring (and creative) mother!