It's a very fine distinction, but a very, very important one, I think: the difference between "child-like" and "child-ish." I certainly strive for the former, but I, like most, have had some truly stellar moments in the realm of the latter.
"Child-like"...what does that mean? To me, it evokes a sense of enthusiasm, energy, spontanaity and wonder. A childlike person sees the beauty in a goldfish or a bubble floating through the air. Because they are childlike, they see possibility, whether it is in digging a hole in the backyard to China, the dinosaur habitat inherent in a lump of play-doh, or new ways to solve our nation's current domestic and international problems. A childlike person holds no grudges and demands no reparations, realizing that if we aren't all happy, then nobody is happy.
I probably don't need to define "childish" for you--but I think that the overwhelming charactoristic of a childish person is a self-centeredness--the belief that everything is about you and in relation to you. Of course, as children, we do think this, and it is very normal. But, hopefully, as we grow, we learn otherwise and begin to focus on others as a path to fulfillment, recognizing, as P.G. Wodehouse said, that "the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people." A childish person wouldn't see this, instead focusing on herself as the one most "deserving" of ease and enjoyment.
So, what? Why do I make this distinction? After yesterday's post, I began to think about the way I live, as I often do, and as I think is quite necessary for an honest and concious person of any age beyond childhood. I strive for a child-like quality in my life. Why? Because I am certain that children "get the small stuff," and exemplify the simple day-to-day struggles and successes that illuminate our lives. Childhood is not perfect; it is not some idealized, dream-like state where everyone meets our needs every second and there are no problems. It is hard, and there are always struggles and disappointments (remember watching your children learn to walk?). But kids continue, always enjoying the next good or sweet thing to come along. And, as has been said many times before, they almost always "live in the moment..."
And I want to live like that. The things that I love--dolls, sweets, art that is simple and purely from the heart, toys and good music...these things remind me of that. And that is why I love them. And if I occasionally stray away from the realm of the childlike into the fearful world of childishness, I am only human. But I will try--as a toddler gets up time and time again to bravely and imperfectly make their way into an open pair of arms--to do better, to improve, to triumph.
Child-like. That's what I want to be.
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